
Myk enjoys a quiet moment while debauchery continues inside
Gwenny and Kymlee laugh it up
Calvin has a chicken epiphany
Winsome works out on inexplicably placed exercise equipment
It is pointless to use my Vinemeet recap to relate stories of the events that took place as all of the best stories cannot or should not be told.
Instead, I encourage you to experience a Vinemeet for yourself. They are relatively simple to stage, as far as life-altering events go. Three things are needed:
1) A location.
2) Alcohol. Lots of it. These people can drink
3) Newsviners: Just the right mix of personalities is needed to ensure success and achieve madness. Though there were some people not in attendance who were deeply missed, I wouldn't have traded the group we had for anyone in the world. Here are brief descriptions of the sort of folks you will need to create a truly epic Vinemeet:
lughsand: A class act with a poet's soul. Usually quiet and composed, he will get downright salty given the right circumstances and company.
winsomecowboy: Exactly like his online persona (with everything that entails). Has momentary lapses of humanity and warmth that he frantically negates by mocking the very next person he sees.
Orlando Dozier: Orlando Time is Story Time. Is there anywhere in the world this man has not been? Has the eerie ability to get along with anyone comfortably.
Celestina: One of your best assets. Simultaneously the life of the party and designated affection dispenser (is that redundant?). In conversation, she can hold her own discussing both the most profound and the most idiotic subjects (a skill that comes in handy at Vinemeets).
Calvin Tang: A swashbuckling hero who can drink until 5 in the morning, sleep two hours and then go for a run! Can be plied into divulging Newsvine secrets with minimal amounts of alcohol.
Cash: Cash's darkest secret is that he is in reality a soft-spoken gentleman. Even his off-color jokes are delivered with a disturbing degree of tact.
Gwenny:: Do not attempt to converse with this woman unless your knowledge of World of Warcraft and paganism is encyclopedic. She gets amusement by remaining relatively sober while all around her carry on like drunken Australian submariners on leave.
Sarmar The quintessential Sweet Young Thing, she is prone to sudden displays of shocking and spectacular violence. Of indeterminate nationality....
Mykola Bilokonsky: Well-mannered and intelligent (not with the excruciating verbosity of his online persona, but with a quiet brilliance), he will turn on a dime to mischief and merciless teasing. Doesn't curse nearly as much as I expected.
kymlee:: Kymlee has what is euphemistically described as a "strong personality." Everyone has the right to her opinion. She has the annoying habit of halting any potentially life-destroying mischief. She is the Batman to my Joker.
I miss you guys already.
@!$%#.
I'm quite upset I didn't make this meet either.
The next one held will definitely find me in attendance. Hopefully it is the Vinemeet East.
Hope you all had a great time (when isn't it a great time with liquor).
I've also been thinking... is it responsible for this many adults to be praising booze to the extent we do?
hahahahahaha! OMG!! Walt, that was hilarious. I just shot snot out my nose and got it all over my screen.
Wholesome. LOL! That's a good one.
I think after a few drinks, that hike would turn into a game of coyote tag :)
Can be plied into divulging Newsvine secrets with minimal amounts of alcohol.
Like???
Sounds like you guys had a great time. Though I will agree with Jon about the alcohol.
Thank Gosh I have the 'gag tool' here with me today. Myk, you are loosey-lipped to no end!
You can't bury the truth, Calvin.
Too many people already know.
Bwhahahahaha!
Nooooo! I came too late to read the secrets of Newsvine. Somebody please email them to me.
*Cough cough* ;-)
This is official business, Spiffie (but ya got me there).
*sob*
in Turkey.
yeah, we'll have kebabs and who knows maybe they'll open a Hardee's in Istanbul.
lol.
I'm thinking near Izmir. I can get us a private beach there....
As a shut-in beaches are not very appealing, unless you've got some hot teachers to lecture us or something. Then I may be game, I'll cycle all the way to Izmir for a dramatic entrance.
Not appealing?
A bunch of drunk Viners on an beach, under the stars, with nubile young Turkish girls dancing for us?
What's not appealing?
outdoors
That's not a test of appeal, that's a test of intelligence!
Habib, you don't like outdoors and you live in freaking Turkey?
Really? man, there are three seas, mountains everywhere, the most beautiful sky I've ever seen - the whole thing is outdoors.
And Cash...
yep.
Well it's complicated, I like the outdoors, I mountainbike but there's no internet access in the middle of a forest. If you throw in a wi-fi internet access to that party I'm in. Make sure there are enough dancing-singing-frolicking girls for all of the drunkards.
Yeah, we'll have WiFi. (I hope)
The rest is a done deal. I'll bring my harem.
~_- and what kinds of subjects does this said harem include, people may have different tastes you know. Also we need air conditioning, lots of it. I've spent a good 10 summers in Izmir, it gets unbearably hot.
Ingredients for disaster:
Viners
Alcohol
Internet access
A/C powerful enough to keep us cool inside our nig, open sided, ten-like shade thing
A somewhat overweight university student riding his bike for 650 kilometers
A harem of young temptresses (Slavic heritage most welcome)
It may just go KA-BOOM at the end of the day. :)
Also I don't consume any alcohol so as you pass out I'l have the harem to myself
*sob*
I still think we should shoot for a Midwest VineMeet, Viki. Maybe in the Spring? I can help plan this time, this summer I was bogged down with the new house and didn't do much of anything except work on it.
OK, looking at your list, Habib, I'll comment on the stuff that really matters.
There are girls in my harem from Bulgaria, the Ukraine, Kosovo and of course, all over Turkey. And alcohol is no problem.
As for cooling down, the Aegean Sea is right there.
Oh, and I'll cook a couple of lambs...
Man the Aegean is always ice-cold, even during the hottest days of July. in some places it's freeze your bones to death cold.
Also Kosovo? LOL, I won't ask how you found her. :) I'd ask for more diversity but I don't want to sound like a greedy pig. ^_^
Lamb is good, juicy.
Oh, yeah. Albania too.
Blerta is from Kosovo. She's a doll.
It is agreed then, meet we shall.
I love Turkey anyway. Throw in an old woman making coffee and reading my future in the grounds and I'll be there for sure.
I like to eat turkey.
Throw in an old woman making coffee and reading my future in the grounds and I'll be there for sure.
Not a problem, but the nubile young girls can do that too....
Just thought you might want to consider that...
Throw in an old woman making coffee and reading my future in the grounds and I'll be there for sure.
Dennis, I'm pretty sure he was talking about Gwenny...although I take offense every time she calls herself old. She did for a brief moment become the caretaker...making extremely strong coffee and reading the tarot.
lol. No he's not.
The old women in Turkey will make you the best coffee you've ever had, anywhere, in a little copper pot that costs about two bucks. When you finish it they read your fortune.
I was just pointing out, though, that the nubile young Turkish hot chicks do it too. The coffee may not be quite as good, but who the hell cares?
Indeed, I was talking about one of my actual Turkish experiences, not Vinemeet. In Antalya, I had an old woman read my grounds and tell me I would meet a beautiful woman - then look at her anything-but daughter.
If Gwenny is going to Turkey and competing with those grandmothers for fortune-reading honors, I triple-dog dare any of you to miss the fireworks.
Turkey anything like Morocco? I liked Morocco.
lol. No he's not.
Okay, my bad...I stand corrected.
I just shot snot out my nose
Viki, Your comment made me think of a YouTube Video I saw a little while ago. This isn't you at the end is it ? :-) Starts at 1.40 seconds Hmm how do you post a URL ? Might have to cut and past this one...sorry still a beginner at NV.
Nope, not me. ;)
Great post, Walt. There were definitely many who were missed. I'm pretty sure we dialed some of you up at ungodly hours of the night. I can only imagine what the voicemails must've been like. I think we had the wrong number for Viki, so *someone* got a bunch of yammering idiots leaving them sentimental messages all night.
I agree that a more wholesome Vinemeet is in order. Maybe we should distinguish Vinemeets from (in-person) NDCs. What is it with you people? I would think that with all of the brainpower around here, y'all would get together and have the most sophisticated, philosophical conversations known to man - but when you throw all of us in a room, it leads to.....
;)
Ok, time to write my report.
Can the more wholesome Vinemeet happen AFTER the one in Seattle?
Don't worry, Carol. Wholesome will never happen, despite good intentions. ;)
Oh, how I wish I knew what number you were calling all night instead of mine, Calvin. I would LOVE to hear those messages.
I think Viki is right, CarolS, but I need to maintain the appearance of 'trying'.
Viki, I think the number we were calling was in someone's phone, Walt maybe?
Oh, how I wish I knew what number you were calling all night instead of mine, Calvin.
There were no voicemails that I know of because the recording said the number did not work. We figured out in the morning that we had the wrong area code. How three different phones have the same wrong area code for one person, I will never know.
Especially puzzling since I wrote my phone number on the note I put in the envelope with Dr. Frank and Sheila. hellooooo!!!!!
We couldn't actually read that note till the morning, at which time each person in succession exclaimed "hey, I found Viki's number!".
Hence the call I got in the morning, while I was work at the police department. I briefly thought about using department resources to search for Dave's number, but I wasn't sure if he'd ever even been to the states, let alone arrested here. Plus, I'm certain he's not a terrorist.
Um...define "terrorist". :)
Dave like me Dave?
Never been to America, never been arrested.
Arrested at all. I'm as shocked as you.
Yes.... NOT a terrorist.
-Dave
Hence why I didn't bother to look you up. I was sure I wouldn't find anything and I didn't want to lose my job while gaining nothing.
You're an angel. Everybody knows that.
Phone calls. Christ on a pogo stick.
I woke up Saturday morning to discover that my call log indicated I had tried to call half the people in my phone book. Why none of them worked is almost enough to make me believe in god. Or to praise my irritating ability to short circuit electronic devices. Which pretty much comes to the same thing.
Yeah.
Celestina and I had set it up a week in advance. I gave her my phone numbers, she gave me a time when they would call.
That didn't work.
Then they got my phone number while talking to Tamh, in freaking Tasmania. Still no call, and apparently no one there thought about checking Newsvine. Or facebook. Or sending an email.
So I called them.
The decision making process at that point was less than functional, by any standard.
Ok, my very first chicken article is up, complete with photo of Viki's note.
Oh no.
Very nice, Walt! Sorry I missed it!
WTF? Walt is warm & fuzzy?! Damn it!!
You're not buying that, are you?
WTF? Walt is warm & fuzzy?! Damn it!!
I think he's still drunk.
Guess if we really want to know we should ask winsome.
WTF? Walt is warm & fuzzy?! Damn it!!
Yes he is...I think his hard online persona is to throw us all off and make us think he has no feelings but those of us who where at Vinemeet know better.
Gawd. I just want to poke out my mind's eye.
There is a God. Phew.
I miss you too Walt! And that is definitely an accurate description of everyone. I guess you got lucky my best friend didn't make it, our personalities combined are stronger than you could imagine. If she had come, there is no way you would have remembered us separately. LOL!
Where are the photos??? Come on, don't hold out for honor.
I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with honor Ruby. Walt only had the camera on his phone...Although he did take a few really funny pictures, I'm not sure how he would have gotten them off of the phone.
Walt, lovely! I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful Sunday morning pick-me-up than having a chat to sweet hung-over Viners! It was great, thanks in bunches :o) (of all the nicest flowers there are)
Yes, I got a call in the middle of the night. I traced it to Celestina's phone but my several tries to reach her in the middle of west coast night or early morning went unanswered.
Walt D., you have experienced the same eerie feeling I had when it was over. As I watched the last of the group drive out my lane I had a feeling of loss, almost grief. I sure enjoyed The Viners and I always will. Sorry I couldn't make it out there. At the last minute I almost did but Flights were expensive by that late in the day. If the Texas VineMeet comes off I should be there. I would like to go to one in Atlanta and again in the D.C. area. Those three venues are the lowest expense areas for me.
Hm, speaking of the Texas VineMeet, I wonder what ever happened to it. We should prod Jacob to come up with a plan.
Ah, damn, Oldfogey, I'm sorry. I actually kind of sort of woke up when you called Saturday morning, but I knew I wasn't in any fit shape to talk to anyone. Then my phone died, and I never did find the charger...who the hell knows what happened to it. In all likelihood, you should be grateful that you were sleeping when I called. Apparently I was under the mistaken impression that I was auditioning for a werewolf flick that night...
I love you, Celestina. Like everybody else.
Then my phone died, and I never did find the charger...who the hell knows what happened to it.
Oh, it's right behind the coffee maker, halfway underneath the toaster ;)
Er...I don't suppose anyone took it home with them? My husband is slightly annoyed that I keep using his.
I left all of my CDs too.
Republican music..
What is that, like pat Boone? Lee greenwood?
Er...I don't suppose anyone took it home with them? My husband is slightly annoyed that I keep using his.
I didn't take it. I'm not even sure if that was yours, it was a pretty small. It looked like a charger that just plugged directly into the wall with the battery in it. Not sure if that's the one, but I saw it.
I left all of my CDs too.
I thought you'd found them in the car. ?? Hopefully someone grabbed em, or Walt can go back and get them.
Cash, Walt said he was going to send them to you so you might want to touch base with him.
I didn't get them out until I could no longer take Kymlee's unnatural fixation with Nine Inch Nails and The Doors. The next day we didn't have music on, because we left early afternoon, so I never thought about it.
Yeah Walt, find my CDs. It's not my fault you picked the 80s music in there - don't cast them all away out of spite.
P.S. It's also not my fault people think The Killers sound like The Cure. Retro is in.
How do the Killers sound like the Cure? Was this after everybody was too drunk to hear?
Well, I was sober so it's hard to say, but I had two people ask me if "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine" was The Cure. Granted, that isn't conclusive but I only had one of their songs on that mix CD ( 2005, I assume )
I ended up with a Motorola charger that looked like the one from my camera. It was left when I picked up Winsome on Sunday morning, so I threw it in the car.
If that sounds like yours, Celestina, send me an e-mail, and I'll ship out asap.
(model number FMP 5185B)
Wouldn't you know it I have Cash's CD's.
My question: Does everyone have his/her own underwear?
Underwear???
winsomecowboy Wouldn't you know it I have Cash's CD's.
At least I know they will travel to interesting places.
I could no longer take Kymlee's unnatural fixation with Nine Inch Nails and The Doors.
Whatever, excuses, excuses. Don't blame your horror from the '80s on me. And there is no way the Killers sound like the Cure...
Amen to that. The Cure sounds good.
Cash, bit of peer review never hurt anyone.
I'm in Ct today, Maryland tomorrow and if you email me an address [or for safety's sake a friends address, that way I'd be less likely to pepper you with inexplicable things in the mail]
I will, no expense spared, return the disks and case.
Peers? You guys had that Flock of Seagulls haircut too???? That is so cool.
Address sent.
*sob*
I'm so incredibly sad I missed this vinemeet you guys have no idea.
Hey Viki - Let's meet for drinks & maybe we can get over it and move on with our lives. Is that possible? Damn it! I don't think it is. :(
I'd be less likely to pepper you with inexplicable things
You never offer to rub me in herbs and spices
:(
Viki - I can't believe that you of all people missed a Vinemeet that I went to. Bad Babbles!
lauhal, you're on. I'll scour my email for your phone number. I know I have it there somewhere.
Calvin, I know. I know. But I'll have you know that my oldest, dearest friend lives in Issaquah, and I try to get out there to visit her every couple of years. It's been 1 1/2 since the last visit, and you KNOW I'll be showing up on Newsvine's doorstep.
I'll be here... waiting.
Viki- come see me too! I'm just in Wallingford :)
Absolutely, Carol! We'll visit HQ together!
That'd be great considering that I'm probably only a few miles away from HQ.
Cool! Course, it probably won't be until next spring, but it's never too early to start planning!
...apres moi le deluge!
Yeah, yeah, Myk. You started a trend. Now they won't be able to get rid of us.
Yeah, yeah, Myk. You started a trend.
Pretentious use of French?
Pretentious use of French?
Let's hope not.
Bust out some pretentious speak in whatever the heck they speak in Turkey*, Dennis.
* Sometimes, I love being an ignorant Ah-mur-i-can.
It's what the first guy to run a sub-4minute mile said, "after me comes the flood..."
Someday, someday...
Vinemeet: Rhode Island
Yeah, baby.
Vinemeet: Rhode Island
hahaha, yeah right. ;-)
I don't think we'd all fit in Rhode Island... =P
And even if we fit, there's probably not enough alcohol in the whole state to accommodate us.
Then maybe we could do something other than get horribly drunk, together.
Yeah, that's kinda hopeless.
Are you even old enough to drink?
Not in this country.
Nor would I drink, actually, but we know how Vinemeeters are.
I had a beer, you can too. Well, technically, I opened two but it all added up to one.
Not in this country.
I know one where you're old enough.
Dennis, I don't know. Maybe it's me, but I'm starting to get the sense that you'd like people to come to Turkey for a Vine Meet.
Now there's an idea.
If I do go to a vinemeet I'd rather like Noah to be there, as I'm not fond of drinking either.
I choose not being raped.
I don't think we'd all fit in Rhode Island... =P
Oh, come now. We have a quahog shell's worth of things to see and do here, like Mr. Potato Head drive-bys, slurping Del's Lemonade, taunting sharks with boogie boards, taking part in the daily corruption, and eliminating tourists driving on our highways. The birthplace of the Quonset hut's about a five-minute drive from here. Set up or lay siege to one of those, and there you go...perfect venue for a Vinemeet. Or better yet, seize control of Block Island for a weekend. I did it once.
And even if we fit, there's probably not enough alcohol in the whole state to accommodate us.
We have plenty, actually, to soothe our aggregate inferiority complexes, and Catholicism.
Sorry, Ansab. It's an unfortunate fact that "choice" has nothing to do with "rape."
I'd like to meet both you and Noah, and I'd even stay sober for the occasion. Really. I will. For at least 30 minutes.
Ansab and I are totally going to beat you all up once you're drunk.
So what do you think, Ansab? Two years or so and it's time for us both to attend a Vinemeet?
Even if we don't beat you up, we'll take compromising pictures which will ensure that college gets paid for.
If I'm free in the next couple of years when a vinemeet shapes up, I'll definitely want to be there. Now lets hope that the Newsvine earnings system becomes magical by then.
Ansab and Noah can sit at the kids' table and enjoy some sparkling apple cider!
Heyyyyyy ... I enjoy that too. Thought I shot mine out my nose when I read that.
Wait a minute, pal. Are you wantin' to beat ME up when I'm drunk?
HA! Let me just give you a little warnin'. I have three younger brothers and I been wrasslin them to the ground since they were knee high to a...to a...well, I'd say grasshopper but let's say knee high to a rocks glass. I wrassle with my 10-year-old kid in the yard and pin him and he is something else.
Hoo, boys. You wanna attempt a beat-down on a 38-year-old woman? You got somethin' comin atya.
The best part is, after I beat you down, I'll bake you cookies and put bandaids on your wounds.
then I'll teach you how to toss back a shot like a man.
The best part is, after I beat you down, I'll bake you cookies and put bandaids on your wounds.
then I'll teach you how to toss back a shot like a man.
I think I love you.
The best part is, after I beat you down, I'll bake you cookies and put bandaids on your wounds. Then I'll teach you how to toss back a shot like a man
We all love Viki. Twist is she's old enough to be my mother.
So who taught you how to drink like that? My mother. Got a problem with that? She taught me to fight too
...Oh Chicago next summer... shall be so very strange...
-Dave
I think I love you.
I KNOW I love you. Gotcha beat.
Twist is she's old enough to be my mother.
Ah, maybe. Babies havin' babies and all that.
Let's take Dave to a gay bar down town!
Oh, and...
...Oh Chicago next summer... shall be so very strange...
Oh, hell yes. Then ONLY thing that could make it better is if Dennis decides that summer 2008 would be a good time for him to visit the ole hometown.
Dennis? What say ye? You, me, Dave, Walt, my '56 Chevy, and a drive from Chicago to the east coast to see Celestina.
Legends are made from less.
We've already got several legends on the go.
Some weird cross between "Billy has two mommies" and oedipus, what with you guys and me, anything 50's and chevrolet....
We're not just going to find me the American dream,
we're going to make Walt vomit on it.
We shall become the things you warn your children about.
Dare I say it... Like the Angels in Berdoo way back when...
-Dave
I'm a little frightened.
But I'll drive.
"Billy has two mommies"
Dave - Viki is not gay. She just likes to flirt with lesbians. Sorry.
Hey! Shush you! Don't tell! My heterosexuality is our little secret, remember?
The curse of heterosexuality is not the stigma it once was, Viki.
So...I can come out of the closet now?
I hear heterosexuals are even eligible for the priesthood these days.
*Bah duhm dum!*
You, me, Dave, Walt, my '56 Chevy, and a drive from Chicago to the east coast to see Celestina.
Ah, hell. There is no way I am going to be able to sit here and miss all the fun. I will have to find a way up and drive back with you. Besides, I promised Myk he would be kidnapped for the adventure. And I am good at kidnapping people. I figure your Chevy can seat seven, Viki, so long as we all like each other a lot. Do I have that about right?
I hate to bring this up...
Dave is too young to drink in the US.
We've already thought about that. We figure the problem is circumnavigable. Bars are more expensive, anyway...
Dennis.... I was too young to drink in Ireland for a long time, didn't really stop me.
Too young to drink in the UK.... yep got around that too.
Besides, what happens in the privacy of someone else's home, or hotel room, or rented lodge...
is at the discression of the owner. Or renter.
-Dave
I never said you couldn't drink, Dave, just that you're not old enough to do it legally.
But hell, little care I for the law.
Oooh, Celestina...that sounds like a plan.
I'm not the "horribly drunk" type of person either.. Is there somewhere cool in between Rhode Island and Rochester, Noah? ; )
I might even be able to get my slightly less known roommate, Icarus to come too.
I'm so sad I didn't make it to this one :(
Me too, Katy. Me too.
It sounds like you all had fun, and I am not at all surprised by Walt's descriptions.
Carry on.
This was a hilarious read. I can't wait to go to one of those vinemeets myself.
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